Livin' and Crashin'

broken again

My 40th year on the planet has been one of livin' and crashin'.

I've had some bad mojo this cycling season: a bad crash and collarbone break in May; a crunched cross frame, after driving into a garage with my bike on the roof, when I had finally recovered in August; and finally a crash and rebreak of my collarbone at Rolling Thunder (cyclocross race) yesterday, following hot on the tail of a competitor who went down in front of me and took me with him.

This string of incidents does make me wonder what the heck I'm doing. Whether or not at my age I should be competing in a young man's sport, pushing myself to my own edge on a regular basis. On the other hand, I'm good at bike racing, and it brings me joy. And I was competing against other 40+ racers, so I'm not the only nut-job out there.

But if I keep breaking bones, the suffering certainly outweighs the joy. So I'm left wondering what the correct balance is between caution and doing what I love, between not-crashin' and livin', given that there's plenty else to love in the world.