Alex Graduates

Alex's first ride without training wheels. I ran with him holding his seat and then let go without him knowing and off he went.

I've got a long layover to write this jet-lagged post. I'm heading back to Missoula for Alex's graduation tomorrow, arriving at midnight tonight. It's hard to believe, for sure, that he's 18 and leaving us. Wow! 

Alex has always been a Buddha kind of guy: mellow and not one to worry much, though during this past year, the weight of his plans and dreams has been sitting heavy on his shoulders. Becoming an adult is not easy or quick. 

On the other hand, Alex is intense and single minded. So far it's been with biking, but I'm guessing it will be one his defining characteristics through life. One of Kadin's old girlfriends once said, "Alex has the Bardsley vibe." Meaning he's like Kadin and I, quiet and intense, but he's also very different.

Athletics has been a main focus for Alex, always. He's a gifted athlete, and it's been a joy to watch him become a great skier and biker. The most memorable moments I've had with him have been while doing physical things: days on the water while surfing in New Zealand, backpacking trips, skiing, etc. One day that's been coming back to me recently was at Warrington Beach with big surf, paddling out beyond the waves on rough water and a big swell. Alex was scared, but we made it out. Actually so many amazing surf days in New Zealand: Murdering Beach and Karitane on those few NE swell days, Kaikoura, Hokitika, Australia, St. Claire beach -- lots of time together on the water. I'll never forget it.

It's been cool to see the transformation that has started to occur with Alex over the past year: working as a dishwasher, going to school, training on his bike. He wants to define himself on his own terms. As a parent, it's hard to let go of the influence you had when your kids were young. Some parents never do, and the result is a strained relationship. I keep telling myself that since I wanted out of my parents' sphere of influence (and still do), Alex is going to want that too. It's a hard gift for a parent to give, letting go. 

Anyway, I'll miss Alex terribly, but I think he's headed in the right direction, which is toward his passions. Life will teach him the rest. I just pray that I can show restraint (not give too much advice) and support, learn to say less and just be there when he wants someone to talk to. But also let him make and learn from his mistakes. I also pray that he'll stay safe. Godspeed Alex.

High school done.