40

I turned 40 on December 5. I don't feel ready, to be honest; this birthday has hit me harder than any other. 

30 didn't phase me a bit, and as a decade, the 30's were one of building-up. 40, on the other hand, feels like a threshold, where some things I've treasured are changing, against my will; for example, my body is less youthful and resilient, and my children are steadily marching away toward independence. And I know that this process will accelerate. On the other hand, there's a noticeable softening that I embrace, and I think that I am enjoying life more.

Of course there's still much building to do, and I've constructed a good base upon which to build more. Several have said to me, "Life begins at 40." Well, only those over 40 say this, but I get it. At 40, you must accept a new reality and once you do, a new life begins.

There's still so much to love and do. 

• At 30, I burned to establish myself in my career, and I knew what I needed to do. At 40, as a Full Professor, I just want to stay passionate about, and engaged in, my work, and I'm not sure how to do this or how things will unfold. I do know that I feel the need for new challenges.
• At 30, my kids were little (6 and 3), and my duties as a father  and husband were basic: love, provide, and protect. At 40, my kids are big (16 and 13), and lately I'm wondering how to pay for their college, and also how to help them transition into an engaged and balanced adulthood.
• At 30, I burned to live abroad. At 40, my focus has shifted, and I burn to reach as many summits as I can in our back yard wilderness areas: the Rattlesnake, Bitterroot, Bob Marshall Complex, Pintlers, and Glacier Park. 

Anyway, I say good-bye to the last decade and hello to the new. I don't know what's to come, but I relish the opportunity to live more life. And I feel an urgency, because the years are flying by.

Had a great 40th Bday party at Kadin's warehouse: drinks, DJ, and friends made for an awesome night.